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한국가정관리학회지 = Journal of Korean Home Management Association, v.31 no.4 = no.124, 2013년, pp.1 - 14
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The current study examined the ability to predict Gottman's four dysfunctional communication behaviors during marital arguments based on the level of surface and core problems in marriage. Core problems were composed of three factors: caring, power, and commitment problems. A self-report questionnai...
| 핵심어 | 질문 | 논문에서 추출한 답변 |
|---|---|---|
| 부부싸움이 일어나게 되는 과정은? | 누구나 행복한 결혼생활을 꿈꾸며 결혼을 하지만 결혼생활에는 행복한 일들만 있는 것이 아니다. 부부가 되어 한 공간에서 일상생활을 함께 하게 되면 서로 기대와 욕구, 목표의 불일치로 부부갈등을 경험하게 되며 때로는 갈등이 겉으로 표출되어 부부가 언어상으로 대립하는 부부싸움이 일어나게 된다. 부부싸움은 어떤 부부에게는 서로를 이해할 수 있는 기회가 되기도 하지만, 어떤 부부는 격하고 파괴적인 방식으로 부부싸움을 함으로써 갈등과 불화가 극에 달하게 되고 심지어는 이혼으로 갈라서기도 한다. | |
| 이혼하는 부부들이 다툴 때 나타나는 비난, 경멸, 방어 및 냉담에 대한 설명은? | Gottman(1999)은 이혼하는 부부들이 다툴 때 특히 비난, 경멸, 방어 및 냉담을 많이 사용한다는 것을 발견하였다. 비난이란 배우자의 구체적인 행동보다 성격을 공격하는 것이다. 경멸은 잘난 체하면서 의도적으로 멸시와 모욕, 창피를 주는 것으로 관계를 가장 많이 손상시키는 것이다(Driver et al., 2003). 방어는 배우자의 말을 인정하지 않고 변명하거나 반박하는 것이며, 냉담은 싸움에 압도되어 굳은 표정으로 침묵하거나 자리를 피하는 방식으로 배우자를 아예 상대하지 않는 것이다. 그는 이 네 가지 의사소통 행동을 습관적으로 사용하게 될수록 관계가 아주 고통스러워지면서 이혼하게 되기 쉽다고 하였다. | |
| 부부싸움의 결과는? | 부부가 되어 한 공간에서 일상생활을 함께 하게 되면 서로 기대와 욕구, 목표의 불일치로 부부갈등을 경험하게 되며 때로는 갈등이 겉으로 표출되어 부부가 언어상으로 대립하는 부부싸움이 일어나게 된다. 부부싸움은 어떤 부부에게는 서로를 이해할 수 있는 기회가 되기도 하지만, 어떤 부부는 격하고 파괴적인 방식으로 부부싸움을 함으로써 갈등과 불화가 극에 달하게 되고 심지어는 이혼으로 갈라서기도 한다. 우리나라의 2012년 한 해 이혼 건수는 무려 11만 4천 3백건으로(Statistics Korea, 2013), 이혼하는 부부가 이처럼 많은 것은 부부갈등을 원만하게 다루기가 그만큼 어렵다는 것을 암시한다. |
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